A Flash of Clarity!

I had an interesting discussion today- not the content of the discussion itself, rather the thought process it generated for me afterwards.

It would seem in this life we spend a lot of time worrying and wondering what people are thinking about us as individuals, what we’ve done, what we are doing and what we haven’t done. It’s very easy to get caught up pondering it all, (or obsessing about it in reality). It’s also very easy to be told by others, (who are perhaps a bit more comfortable in their own skin, thicker skinned or who simply have that wonderful constitution where they don’t give a rats) not to worry about it. I fantasize about having this constitution at times. It’s not that I want to be unfeeling, I’d just like to step off the wonder/worry wheel sometimes.  The ability to put things into perspective, to rationalize and to let certain things wash over me, are skills I am trying to achieve. I have hope I can achieve this. By no other factors than age and the wisdom and experience of life, I am hopeful I will get there.

What I realized today, is that everyone will always have an opinion about something. People will talk about a given situation, they will make judgments, and they may say they are not, but they are- we all do. It doesn’t matter how good a person you are, it doesn’t matter how much you do or do not achieve someone will always have something to say about it- good, bad or otherwise. You may be on different sides of the planet, your worlds very much apart and still someone may have something to say about a given situation. So here’s the thing, you can’t control what anyone else thinks. All your worry and anguish and wondering will not stop a thought process in someone else’s mind… so why wonder, why worry. It serves absolutely no purpose at all. What is important is what we think of ourselves, our own actions, the things we have and haven’t done- how we feel about that and what we then do to change a situation we aren’t happy with, or to recognize and be thankful of a situation we are happy with.

None of this is rocket science and for many it’s a given, but for me it’s taken a long time to realize what I’ve just discussed. I can’t guarantee I won’t be riding the wonder/worry wheel again but I would like to think that it’s a lot easier to step off than it has been previously!  

Skipping, Cartwheels and Perseverance

Milestones!

It's the 20th of May and today our son turns 4.5 and our daughter tomorrow will be 6.  In their minds at least the day they actually cross over from 5.5 to 6 and just 4 to 4.5 is very important. Along with the chronological changes there's been some major advances in the Mottl household of late.

Life changing, confidence building skills have been practiced (and practiced and practised), to a large extent mastered and there is no turning back- Yes, Lilly is into her fourth week at 'Big School' and seems to be loving it. She's learning a huge new range of skills from drawing techniques, writing and reading and how bricks are made, (fascinating stuff when the process is regurgitated from the back seat of the car).  Sebastian is very keen to run into school on his own- 'without you mum, I'm fine" and is getting used to not having his big sister around at school or in the afternoons- Lilly's school day is now 9-5 and Seb finishes at 1pm.

All these changes are amazing but I must confess my initial reference to life changing, confidence building skills is a bit more basic than that.

Lilly has learnt to cartwheel, and jump rope and Sebastian has learnt to skip. Two feet off the ground simultaneously- hippety- hoppety all around the place. It's a joy to watch, and I can't pretend I'm not proud of them, but there's more to it than that.  It's bought to light the idea of perseverance and what it can achieve, that along with the joy each of them have experienced by achieving these physical feats. It's all happening so fast, a few weeks ago I discovered Seb could skip and the very next day they'd both come home doing handstands against the wall. Goodness knows what tomorrow will bring.

Well tomorrow came and went and Seb is now cartwheeling. My fascination is in the process and perseverance both children displayed in their commitment to learn these skills. Lilly's been chartwheeling for ages, but they were a bit sideways and not really a cartwheel, more of a cart-roll.

One day, I noticed they'd strung up a line between two trees in our back garden. They then proceeded to jump over the rope, then cartwheel over it and viola, all of a sudden her cartwheels were amazing. Seb was learning from scratch so it took a little longer, but as of today they are looking pretty good.

Persistence- you can't get past it. You spend so much time trying to educate and steer your kids in a certain direction. So often it seems they are the teachers, they give the lessons, they hold up the mirror!  

I had a discussion in the car the other day with Lilly about this very thing. The idea of not giving up, the idea of not listening to people if they tell you something isn't any good, the idea of persisting and continuing to try. It resonated quite strongly with me at the time as if I had a little being on my shoulder whispering- "these sentiments are for you too you know"

The other intriguing idea that struck me while reflecting on all of this is that somewhere along the way we stop, or we forget how to be excited about the little things- I guess cartwheels and skipping to a child are HUGE things to achieve and it's nice to view this and put it all into perspective. I know I'm guilty so often of concentrating on the things I haven't done rather than the things I have.  Just another reminder to stop, smell the roses and watch the cartwheels ( and goodness knows maybe even do a few! )

Why BLOG?

WHY BLOG? My first post!

My New Years Resolution for 2013 sounds very familiar to the well-known athletic brand sporting a swoosh- JUST DO IT!

Stop talking, although in my case it’s mostly thinking about it and simply do- not everything, but the things I say I’m going to do. For example, obtaining my Spanish drivers license, completing the mending, handwriting AND sending a letter to a friend and in this case starting a blog. The purpose is twofold re the Blog- to stay in contact with family and friends and to write- regularly about every day things-Life, The Universe and Everything in Between.

I’ve been looking at starting a blog for some time, had even started writing in Word for when I was going to put it all together. Very recently I read a dear friends and thought- just do it Kylie, stop procrastinating and write.

It’s one-way communication until someone reads it and comments, but what I found by reading my friends, was that I could hear her voice in her posts, I had insight into her mind and the issues she was grappling with. Her history, her current path, her concerns and thoughts about the future- they’re all there. I’m privy to so much more of her life than I have been since she left Valencia. We’ve remained friends and will continue to do so, however our divergent paths were inevitable based on mere geography. Throw into the mix us both having two young children and living in countries different to where we grew up- and it’s not surprising contact is minimal.

As far as my writing goes, I seem to have a typewriter going on in my head all day long. The act however, of actually sitting down and making those words something tangible, seems to get relegated down the list as other tasks crop up and I allow them to have priority over what I really want to be doing.

I have a friend who is very black and white- a male, who, when talking about something else I wanted to be doing, simply said, “ make it a priority! If your kids were dangerously ill you wouldn’t stop and put a wash on or get something out for dinner before you took them to the hospital- you’d get them in the car and go. If you want to do it, make it a priority”.

Oh to think like a man- but that’s a topic for another post!